Conflicts are a part of family life. Many issues can lead to conflict, such as marital problems, addition, generation gap, disability and so on. If the parents do not manage these conflicts properly, it will cause bad effects on the children. This is because the children are living in a unhealthy family and it may lead to the social problems indirectly. As we know, parents are busy for their business and will be 'pass' their children to the grandparents to take care since the children are baby,kindegarden and adolescence. So,they are lack of communication between their own parents, even grandparents. Besides this, sometimes grandparents are unable to teach their grandchildren when ask them a questions which about their study. In long run, they do not have good opportunities to find a job due to shortage of education since their parents are do not spend much of time to teach them.
Secondly, On the other hand, children like to try something new to get the attention from others because they are less communication with others. They are pretend themselves and not dare to talk with others, scare get hurt and no one is bother them when they talk. So, they are willing to do something 'special' to get the attention from others. They will be get into drug addition, become a gangster, smoking,go to the pub, etc. They won't think about the effect which will happen on them when they are involve in these 'activities'. They never know that their parents are worry about them and they are enjoyed of it. Furthermore, once they have the negative thinking, they will be try something more extreme, such as stealing, 'mat rempit', committed to buy drugs with their friends those who have the negative thinking.
Once they are involved, they can not detached easily. This is why nowadays the rates of juvenile crimes become increased in this society. Actually parents are play an important role of it. According to the newspaper wrote that,“A child is less likely to commit crime if there is someone, usually a parent, who makes a difference in his life.' Children are potential leaders in our future. Government hopes the young generation to innovate and advance the country in future. But, due to the social problems, its seems like hard to achieve it.
Friday, October 8, 2010
NeWs For The Solution of Pregnant Teenagers
CM: School for pregnant teenagers will proceed
MALACCA: Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam yesterday defended his suggestion for pregnant teens be placed in a special school.
Replying to a question raised in the state assembly sitting, he said the state government was serious about helping pregnant youngsters.
The state government was determined to set up such school, he said adding that Pantai Kundor assemblyman Datuk Ab Rahaman Ab Karim had been appointed chairman of the school with immediate effect.
Ali, however, did not elaborate on the school, saying that details were being worked out.
He said the school would be set up as soon as possible despite criticisms.
"I am not suggesting it merely for fun but it is based on the views of many quarters obtained during a recent seminar on social problems held here."
Believing that there were no outright solutions to the problems, Ali said the move could assist the teenagers in one way or another.
"The school will take care of the needs of pregnant teens and this, indirectly, will rid of negative perception against them," he said to a question by Chua Kheng Hwa (BN-Bemban).
Ali added that there was no harm in having such a school.
"It is done with good intention and I believe this is encouraged not only by Islam but also other religions to address social problems involving our youngsters."
The Malacca Religious Council (MAIM) had also given its thumbs-up for the establishment of the school.
"This was agreed upon during a meeting between MAIM leaders and representatives of several political bodies and non-governmental organisations in the state."
Statistics showed that rape cases in the state stood at 112 last year and 40 cases were reported in the first six months of this year.
On baby dumping cases, Ali said only one case was reported last year while three had been reported so far this year.
"This is very worrying. They are scared to tell their parents for fear of being scolded and ostracised. In the end, they give births in secluded spots and dispose of their newborns. We must put a stop to it and this is the very reason why we want to have the school."
The proposal, however, did not go down well with the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
In a statement, the ministry said the move was not the best solution to address the issue of baby dumping.
Instead, a more practical solution would be to allow pregnant teenagers to defer their schooling and make arrangements for them to be placed at a new school after maternity leave.
It also said segregation of teenagers from mainstream education would result in social stigma towards them.
"Moreover, the school will always be labelled by society as an institution for teenagers who are pregnant out of wedlock," the statement said.
Although the proposal was seen as a preventive measure to the problem of abandoned babies, it should be studied comprehensively to avoid other implications which may affect the children, families and the society.
It added that the proposal to encourage children and teenagers to marry with the support of the state government would be seen as condoning child marriages.
"The ministry is firm on its stand that child marriages should not be encouraged as they are detrimental to the development and well-being of the child."
It added placing a heavy burden of parenthood on children would also affect the child's psychological, emotional and physical development.
MALACCA: Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam yesterday defended his suggestion for pregnant teens be placed in a special school.
Replying to a question raised in the state assembly sitting, he said the state government was serious about helping pregnant youngsters.
The state government was determined to set up such school, he said adding that Pantai Kundor assemblyman Datuk Ab Rahaman Ab Karim had been appointed chairman of the school with immediate effect.
Ali, however, did not elaborate on the school, saying that details were being worked out.
He said the school would be set up as soon as possible despite criticisms.
"I am not suggesting it merely for fun but it is based on the views of many quarters obtained during a recent seminar on social problems held here."
Believing that there were no outright solutions to the problems, Ali said the move could assist the teenagers in one way or another.
"The school will take care of the needs of pregnant teens and this, indirectly, will rid of negative perception against them," he said to a question by Chua Kheng Hwa (BN-Bemban).
Ali added that there was no harm in having such a school.
"It is done with good intention and I believe this is encouraged not only by Islam but also other religions to address social problems involving our youngsters."
The Malacca Religious Council (MAIM) had also given its thumbs-up for the establishment of the school.
"This was agreed upon during a meeting between MAIM leaders and representatives of several political bodies and non-governmental organisations in the state."
Statistics showed that rape cases in the state stood at 112 last year and 40 cases were reported in the first six months of this year.
On baby dumping cases, Ali said only one case was reported last year while three had been reported so far this year.
"This is very worrying. They are scared to tell their parents for fear of being scolded and ostracised. In the end, they give births in secluded spots and dispose of their newborns. We must put a stop to it and this is the very reason why we want to have the school."
The proposal, however, did not go down well with the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
In a statement, the ministry said the move was not the best solution to address the issue of baby dumping.
Instead, a more practical solution would be to allow pregnant teenagers to defer their schooling and make arrangements for them to be placed at a new school after maternity leave.
It also said segregation of teenagers from mainstream education would result in social stigma towards them.
"Moreover, the school will always be labelled by society as an institution for teenagers who are pregnant out of wedlock," the statement said.
Although the proposal was seen as a preventive measure to the problem of abandoned babies, it should be studied comprehensively to avoid other implications which may affect the children, families and the society.
It added that the proposal to encourage children and teenagers to marry with the support of the state government would be seen as condoning child marriages.
"The ministry is firm on its stand that child marriages should not be encouraged as they are detrimental to the development and well-being of the child."
It added placing a heavy burden of parenthood on children would also affect the child's psychological, emotional and physical development.
PHYSICAL EFFECTS
Family conflictS will lead to a profound effectS on teenagers. Children usually are the one who greatly affected from the family issues. I would like to diScuss about physical effects on teenagers or children due to the family problems.
First of all, teenagers if often expose to the family conflicts may experience health problems. Because of the conflict happened, children do not sleep well or we consider it as insomnia. Some teens may develop eating disorders and fall into depression as a consequence. This situation will totally affect their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, teenagers will lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Besides that, there is strong evidence that teenagers growing up in conflicted family often suffer from long-term health problems including anxiety disorder, heart disease, cancer and even early death.
In addition, the conflict of family will affect children educational performance. Children who family is in conflict often do poorly in school. Family problems can influence a teenager’s school attendance and tardiness. Besides that,children also have difficult time concentrating in school because the problem of family always bothering them. Therefore, teens from problem family are more likely to drop out of school and fail to gradute. Conflicts between family members can cause teenagers to act among their peers. Teens from conflict family are more likely to have behavioral problems in school than the teens from households with less conflict.
By the way, children from problem families are much likely to develop habits of smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption. Besides that , they tend to become more sexually active. Research prove that, teens from dysfunctional family are much more likely to get pregnant. May be we can said that children involve in such risky behavior because they are too emotional, depress or even they want to arouse the attention of parents. The most serious risky behavior due to the conflicst between family members is teenagers commit suicide and self mutilation to escape from the problems that they faced in family. What a pity!
In conclusion, we should not underestimate the conflicts in family. It will strongly affect teenagers life!
First of all, teenagers if often expose to the family conflicts may experience health problems. Because of the conflict happened, children do not sleep well or we consider it as insomnia. Some teens may develop eating disorders and fall into depression as a consequence. This situation will totally affect their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, teenagers will lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Besides that, there is strong evidence that teenagers growing up in conflicted family often suffer from long-term health problems including anxiety disorder, heart disease, cancer and even early death.
In addition, the conflict of family will affect children educational performance. Children who family is in conflict often do poorly in school. Family problems can influence a teenager’s school attendance and tardiness. Besides that,children also have difficult time concentrating in school because the problem of family always bothering them. Therefore, teens from problem family are more likely to drop out of school and fail to gradute. Conflicts between family members can cause teenagers to act among their peers. Teens from conflict family are more likely to have behavioral problems in school than the teens from households with less conflict.
By the way, children from problem families are much likely to develop habits of smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption. Besides that , they tend to become more sexually active. Research prove that, teens from dysfunctional family are much more likely to get pregnant. May be we can said that children involve in such risky behavior because they are too emotional, depress or even they want to arouse the attention of parents. The most serious risky behavior due to the conflicst between family members is teenagers commit suicide and self mutilation to escape from the problems that they faced in family. What a pity!
In conclusion, we should not underestimate the conflicts in family. It will strongly affect teenagers life!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
-Mental Effects-
Effects on bad relationships between husband and wife or parents with children will first lead to mental illness. People who suffer from mental illness find it hard to get close to others and often have difficulty trusting them. Besides, becoming repeatedly involved in unhealthy relationships can cause chemical changes in mind and body, regardless adult or children, which drains one’s energy and finally leading to more physical and mental problems.
When a person suffers from bad relationship with family, the telltale signs are increasing frustration, growing feelings of emptiness, getting too emotional, and feeling suicidal. Women going through relationship problems are more prone to express their emotions by showing sadness, depression, or crying all the time. On the other hand, men usually show emotional pain in different ways, either they buried it deep down inside their hearts or they show it by emotionally or physically abuse to others. Children who are facing relationship problems with their family usually are quieter and do not like to get socialize. Sometimes they tend to show their feelings by torturing others or even themselves.
In addition, bad relationship often turns a person unwittingly caught in low self-esteem, continuously blaming themselves or others. They will starting to have inability to concentrate, difficulty with making decisions, unnecessary worry and anxiety, compelling emotions and mood swings, loss of self-confidence, etc. In short, they just wallowing in sadness and do not have rational way of thinking. These effects will then lead to physical problems.
When a person suffers from bad relationship with family, the telltale signs are increasing frustration, growing feelings of emptiness, getting too emotional, and feeling suicidal. Women going through relationship problems are more prone to express their emotions by showing sadness, depression, or crying all the time. On the other hand, men usually show emotional pain in different ways, either they buried it deep down inside their hearts or they show it by emotionally or physically abuse to others. Children who are facing relationship problems with their family usually are quieter and do not like to get socialize. Sometimes they tend to show their feelings by torturing others or even themselves.
In addition, bad relationship often turns a person unwittingly caught in low self-esteem, continuously blaming themselves or others. They will starting to have inability to concentrate, difficulty with making decisions, unnecessary worry and anxiety, compelling emotions and mood swings, loss of self-confidence, etc. In short, they just wallowing in sadness and do not have rational way of thinking. These effects will then lead to physical problems.
Bad husband and wife relationship News-Habitual wife beater kills wife
ONE INUSAH Yakubu, a resident of Tensungo, a suburb of Bawku in the Upper East Region, has allegedly beaten his 30-year-old wife, Hamida Abdullai to death.
According to a source close to the family, a quarrel ensued between the couple last Thursday, which resulted in the husband beating the wife into unconsciousness, as a result of which she was rushed to the Bawku Hospital, where she died.
The father of the deceased, Mr. Abdullai Khasim, told our source that INUSAH Yakubu, who has since gone into hiding, has persistently been beating his wife, compelling her to sometimes run away to her family house.
According to some residents of Tensungo, during the latest incident, they heard the cry of the woman but felt reluctant to go to her rescue, because they were fed up with the continuous beating of the wife by the man.
They said anytime they rescued the woman and advised the man to stop his barbaric act, he would not listen to them.
The neighbours only went to the scene when the wailing and screaming of the woman increased and heightened, but their presence was rather too late.
According to some residents, the cause of the scuffle was the man’s alleged accusation that the wife had stolen his money.
The body of the deceased has since been deposited at the morgue of the Regional Hospital in Bolgatanga. The couple has been married for eleven years and has 4 children.
The police in Bawku have confirmed the murder and said they suspect foul play.
According to a source close to the family, a quarrel ensued between the couple last Thursday, which resulted in the husband beating the wife into unconsciousness, as a result of which she was rushed to the Bawku Hospital, where she died.
The father of the deceased, Mr. Abdullai Khasim, told our source that INUSAH Yakubu, who has since gone into hiding, has persistently been beating his wife, compelling her to sometimes run away to her family house.
According to some residents of Tensungo, during the latest incident, they heard the cry of the woman but felt reluctant to go to her rescue, because they were fed up with the continuous beating of the wife by the man.
They said anytime they rescued the woman and advised the man to stop his barbaric act, he would not listen to them.
The neighbours only went to the scene when the wailing and screaming of the woman increased and heightened, but their presence was rather too late.
According to some residents, the cause of the scuffle was the man’s alleged accusation that the wife had stolen his money.
The body of the deceased has since been deposited at the morgue of the Regional Hospital in Bolgatanga. The couple has been married for eleven years and has 4 children.
The police in Bawku have confirmed the murder and said they suspect foul play.
NEWS about family problem
Family argument turns deadly in Union City; man killed, stepson arrested
Posted: 09/15/2010 06:47:07 AM PDT
Updated: 09/15/2010 07:23:18 PM PDT
UNION CITY -- A family quarrel turned deadly when a 55-year-old man shot and killed his 57-year-old stepfather in the driveway of their home, police and relatives said.
Humberto Diaz, a well-liked construction worker, was slain about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday after he returned to his home in the 600 block of Whipple Road, said his stepdaughter Elizabeth Colon.
Diaz was shot twice with a small-caliber gun and died at Eden Medical Center in Castro Valley where he was being treated for his wounds, said Lt. Kelly Musgrove, a spokesman for the police department.
Stepson Luis Rick Sanchez was arrested at the scene. He confessed to police who recorded his statement using their video cameras, Musgrove said.
Family members said the motive for the killing was sparked days earlier when Diaz demanded that Sanchez move out of his home because of a sexual relationship Sanchez was having with a relative, said Colon, who is the 52-year-old sister of the suspect.
"Everyone knew about it, but nobody talked about it because in Hispanic families; that is like airing your dirty laundry," she said Wednesday.
Diaz and Sanchez were both living in the home, along with other relatives, including two children who were home at the time of the shooting, but didn't witness it.
Diaz had been married to Sanchez's mother, Bonita, for more than 30 years and is credited with being a stabilizing figure in her family, Colon said.
"He was a good man, a great person" she said, fighting off tears. "He was good to our mother, everybody liked him."
The argument that led to the shooting apparently started Sunday when Diaz gave Sanchez an ultimatum to move out or he would tell people about family problems, Colon said.
It escalated on Tuesday when Diaz returned home from work, she said.
The disagreement became heated and then moved to the driveway where Sanchez shot Diaz twice in the torso, police said.
When officers arrived, they found the victim struggling to breathe, and the suspect standing nearby.
Police said Sanchez complied with all of the officers' orders and was arrested without incident.
Colon said Sanchez is one of five siblings, all of whom were raised in Union City's Decoto neighborhood. Colon's mother married Diaz a few years after their father died.
"I know it's weird to think that I am taking the side of a person who is not (a blood relative), but a person like (Sanchez) is someone I don't even want to be related to," she said.
Posted: 09/15/2010 06:47:07 AM PDT
Updated: 09/15/2010 07:23:18 PM PDT
UNION CITY -- A family quarrel turned deadly when a 55-year-old man shot and killed his 57-year-old stepfather in the driveway of their home, police and relatives said.
Humberto Diaz, a well-liked construction worker, was slain about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday after he returned to his home in the 600 block of Whipple Road, said his stepdaughter Elizabeth Colon.
Diaz was shot twice with a small-caliber gun and died at Eden Medical Center in Castro Valley where he was being treated for his wounds, said Lt. Kelly Musgrove, a spokesman for the police department.
Stepson Luis Rick Sanchez was arrested at the scene. He confessed to police who recorded his statement using their video cameras, Musgrove said.
Family members said the motive for the killing was sparked days earlier when Diaz demanded that Sanchez move out of his home because of a sexual relationship Sanchez was having with a relative, said Colon, who is the 52-year-old sister of the suspect.
"Everyone knew about it, but nobody talked about it because in Hispanic families; that is like airing your dirty laundry," she said Wednesday.
Diaz and Sanchez were both living in the home, along with other relatives, including two children who were home at the time of the shooting, but didn't witness it.
Diaz had been married to Sanchez's mother, Bonita, for more than 30 years and is credited with being a stabilizing figure in her family, Colon said.
"He was a good man, a great person" she said, fighting off tears. "He was good to our mother, everybody liked him."
The argument that led to the shooting apparently started Sunday when Diaz gave Sanchez an ultimatum to move out or he would tell people about family problems, Colon said.
It escalated on Tuesday when Diaz returned home from work, she said.
The disagreement became heated and then moved to the driveway where Sanchez shot Diaz twice in the torso, police said.
When officers arrived, they found the victim struggling to breathe, and the suspect standing nearby.
Police said Sanchez complied with all of the officers' orders and was arrested without incident.
Colon said Sanchez is one of five siblings, all of whom were raised in Union City's Decoto neighborhood. Colon's mother married Diaz a few years after their father died.
"I know it's weird to think that I am taking the side of a person who is not (a blood relative), but a person like (Sanchez) is someone I don't even want to be related to," she said.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Solution For Marriage Problem Between Husband And Wife By Onion
Usually that's what happen between a husband and wife in the family, During the time of crisis, their trust will be tested as well as their endurance and mutual understanding on each other. In order to solve the problem between couples, we must first find the cause of the problem. What is the source of failing relationships then? If we investigate closer at it's core, it's the mindset of the couples.
1. They should set a common goal to be achieve together, such as bringing up children, holiday to certain countries, renovate their house and so on. In order to do so, partners need to develop the capability to make connections between facts by listening to your partner's opinion without presumption and understand his/her viewpoints from their stances.
2. Speaks out your feelings freely to your partner. What we are facing in Malaysia as well as South East Asia countries is that couples tend to keep opinions or feelings in their heart. They are more conservative and tried to solve problems by themselves. These may causes misunderstanding of your partner since he/she doesn't understanding what situation you are in and may accused you of false rumors. When comes to making a major decision,the dominant side(either husband or wife) may presume their decision are acceptable by their partner, which in fact the opposite in most of the cases. Hence, do respect your partner's feelings and makes adjustments according to your partner's need as well as the situation, and of course, includes both sides decisions in the commitment of family issues. Avoid unreasonable expectations and think of the bigger picture and the consequences when you make the decision.
1. They should set a common goal to be achieve together, such as bringing up children, holiday to certain countries, renovate their house and so on. In order to do so, partners need to develop the capability to make connections between facts by listening to your partner's opinion without presumption and understand his/her viewpoints from their stances.
2. Speaks out your feelings freely to your partner. What we are facing in Malaysia as well as South East Asia countries is that couples tend to keep opinions or feelings in their heart. They are more conservative and tried to solve problems by themselves. These may causes misunderstanding of your partner since he/she doesn't understanding what situation you are in and may accused you of false rumors. When comes to making a major decision,the dominant side(either husband or wife) may presume their decision are acceptable by their partner, which in fact the opposite in most of the cases. Hence, do respect your partner's feelings and makes adjustments according to your partner's need as well as the situation, and of course, includes both sides decisions in the commitment of family issues. Avoid unreasonable expectations and think of the bigger picture and the consequences when you make the decision.
Monday, October 4, 2010
ThE sOLutions of the Family problem
Nowadays, by browsing through the newspaper, we can see that there are many family issues are reported. For example, abortion babies, under age pregnancy, run away from home and the like. These kind of family issues fundamentally due to the poor relationship among family members. This is because lack of communication between parents and their children although living under the same roof. This is called 'generation gap'.
Therefore, there are some of the solutions to overcome the family problems. One of the solution is family meeting. Family meeting provide a safe environment for each member to share n express their views regarding the various issues. Through out this meeting, family members can tell and know what is the problem are they facing and will try to help them to solve it. If you think members of the family are shy to open up their views, you can ask each member to write down their thoughts and then share them by passing them around. Remember, the whole idea of family meeting is to communicate among the family members and do not care about whether the communication is audible or written.
Family vacation is seek out the best solution to your family problems. Imagine that the family members are cooperate to plan the vacation together. For example, father is taking part in drives n checks the car is in good condition, mother is taking part prepares the medicines for the journey, whereas brother is taking part in the location and sister is taking part in food and entertainment. This cooperation among the family members is to have a happy and delightful family vacation. In addition, it can foster the relationship between parents and their children directly. All family members work together to organize a family trip is not easy as well but they can experience the ways to organize a trip among their family members. Besides that, children can know more deeply about the place of interesting by asking their parents and can be improve their knowledge by informal education.
On the other hand, keep communicating with family members also one of the solution to overcome the family problem. Once the problem start, the communication should not stop. It is important to talk through your emotions and feelings. Actually we unable to know what our family members thinking without communicate. So, we have to talk to them in different kind of topics or just a simple conversation. For example, parents have to try to close with their children instead of busy their works. If parents just focus or concentrate to their jobs, they children will be neglected by them directly. Therefore, the children cannot feel any warm in their family and less communicate with family members. By prevent this incident happens, parents should keep communicating with their children in various topics, like studies, about their school life, their friends and so on. This kind of the topics will be let their children know that their parents are love and concern them.
Therefore, there are some of the solutions to overcome the family problems. One of the solution is family meeting. Family meeting provide a safe environment for each member to share n express their views regarding the various issues. Through out this meeting, family members can tell and know what is the problem are they facing and will try to help them to solve it. If you think members of the family are shy to open up their views, you can ask each member to write down their thoughts and then share them by passing them around. Remember, the whole idea of family meeting is to communicate among the family members and do not care about whether the communication is audible or written.
Family vacation is seek out the best solution to your family problems. Imagine that the family members are cooperate to plan the vacation together. For example, father is taking part in drives n checks the car is in good condition, mother is taking part prepares the medicines for the journey, whereas brother is taking part in the location and sister is taking part in food and entertainment. This cooperation among the family members is to have a happy and delightful family vacation. In addition, it can foster the relationship between parents and their children directly. All family members work together to organize a family trip is not easy as well but they can experience the ways to organize a trip among their family members. Besides that, children can know more deeply about the place of interesting by asking their parents and can be improve their knowledge by informal education.
On the other hand, keep communicating with family members also one of the solution to overcome the family problem. Once the problem start, the communication should not stop. It is important to talk through your emotions and feelings. Actually we unable to know what our family members thinking without communicate. So, we have to talk to them in different kind of topics or just a simple conversation. For example, parents have to try to close with their children instead of busy their works. If parents just focus or concentrate to their jobs, they children will be neglected by them directly. Therefore, the children cannot feel any warm in their family and less communicate with family members. By prevent this incident happens, parents should keep communicating with their children in various topics, like studies, about their school life, their friends and so on. This kind of the topics will be let their children know that their parents are love and concern them.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
PARENTS AND TEENAGERS
No man is perfect. Although we all strive for perfection, there are no such things as the perfect family. Every family is unique with its own combination of strengths, challenges, and problems. Therefore, do not surprise if some family seems overwhelmed with problems, or if there is a breakdown in relationship within family members. Family problems come in all shapes and sizes. Some are easy to manage while some are more chronic and difficult to handle. There are some examples of family issues, divorce, domestic violence, step families, and teen issues. Family nowadays has trouble with indefinite crisis. I do not discuss all of the issues of family but will emphasize the problems facing between parents and children.
Look at some examples about the expressions of teenagers as well as parents. May be you ever heard it before.
Teenage bodies and minds are screaming “I am not a baby anymore, I want to make my own decisions!” or “ I am ready to be independent.”
Parents are screaming back “ you have not learned what you need to know yet, I am your father or I am your mother, just follow and accept our decisions, no arguing!”
Also in some situation, children screamed “nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents, my parents always nag me or lecturing me about something. I really hate it!”
Why are those situations or we considered as problems happen between teenagers and parents? May be there are a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is poor communication. Family members do not know how to express the best with one another or have not learned how to listen well to what others are trying to say through their words, expressions or actions. Parents rarely give praise even if the children do the right thing. It seems as though nothing children do is ever good enough for parents, at least this is in the mind of teenagers. Children sometimes seldom appreciate the well-intentioned and painstakingly of parents. They are not realize what parents done for them is for their own good, however they easily said parents love to nag and restrict their life. That is why sometimes, family would overwhelmed with problems and end up with the breakdown in relationship within family members.
Another problem is media and technology where children or teenager can make their secret life. Also with technology, the internet becomes their new guide. By the way, internet reduces communicating or face to face between parents and teenagers. It seems internet become children new world life. So, many teenagers do not close from their family, compared to parents, children are more willing to tell feelings and minds to a friend or even to those they are not really know through internet. May be children remember parents only at the time of needing money. This situation is really bad since family should be the source of love and support. Family members should have close bond within one another.
In fact, every family has trouble coping with life’s inevitable crises. Some are simple problem whereas some are very hard issues to handle. No matter how, there are certain measures that we can take for recovery.
Look at some examples about the expressions of teenagers as well as parents. May be you ever heard it before.
Teenage bodies and minds are screaming “I am not a baby anymore, I want to make my own decisions!” or “ I am ready to be independent.”
Parents are screaming back “ you have not learned what you need to know yet, I am your father or I am your mother, just follow and accept our decisions, no arguing!”
Also in some situation, children screamed “nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents, my parents always nag me or lecturing me about something. I really hate it!”
Why are those situations or we considered as problems happen between teenagers and parents? May be there are a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is poor communication. Family members do not know how to express the best with one another or have not learned how to listen well to what others are trying to say through their words, expressions or actions. Parents rarely give praise even if the children do the right thing. It seems as though nothing children do is ever good enough for parents, at least this is in the mind of teenagers. Children sometimes seldom appreciate the well-intentioned and painstakingly of parents. They are not realize what parents done for them is for their own good, however they easily said parents love to nag and restrict their life. That is why sometimes, family would overwhelmed with problems and end up with the breakdown in relationship within family members.
Another problem is media and technology where children or teenager can make their secret life. Also with technology, the internet becomes their new guide. By the way, internet reduces communicating or face to face between parents and teenagers. It seems internet become children new world life. So, many teenagers do not close from their family, compared to parents, children are more willing to tell feelings and minds to a friend or even to those they are not really know through internet. May be children remember parents only at the time of needing money. This situation is really bad since family should be the source of love and support. Family members should have close bond within one another.
In fact, every family has trouble coping with life’s inevitable crises. Some are simple problem whereas some are very hard issues to handle. No matter how, there are certain measures that we can take for recovery.
Marriage Problems~
Problems usually occur between husband and wife first then it affects the whole family. Misunderstandings, differences, disputes, etc. will lead to relationship breakup, that is separation or divorce. The problems that happened are either personal or impersonal. Misunderstanding, low self-esteem and lack of respect in marriage are the main problems.
First of all, misunderstanding persists between married couple when one or both mates feels that they had choose the wrong person and begin to regret which trigger to unhealthy body and mind condition. Misunderstanding is often related to low self-esteem. One of the spouses might fear that the other half is being disloyal, deceptive or misleading and often get jealous, malice or hatred for each other or a third person are examples of low self-esteem. The imbalance emotions sometimes mess up the relationship.
In addition, when there’s respect in a marriage, the integrity of marriage as an institution remains intact and there probably wouldn’t be any divorce. Husband and wife must understand that marriage is a commitment to life. There should not be domination in a marriage but honour the person with sincerity. Some husbands or wives often have this ‘I’m always right’ mindset. This has made the situation worse and one of them might get tired of it and that usually ends on a very unsatisfying note.
Furthermore, husband and wife should always show interest to each other and accept the weakness because everybody makes mistakes. Do not neglect each other no matter how busy they are and at least once a day to compliment each other. Communication skill is crucial to make up a healthy relationship. Spend time and be open for discussion with one another so that all issues and disputes can be settled and resolved through a dialogue, not by personal opinion.
In a nutshell, the roles of the husband and wife in a family have been forgotten. Wife is like a neck when the husband’s a head. They must be together in order to function well. As we know that husband is to assume leadership in the home but should not be dictatorial, condescending the wife means they must respect each other. On the other hand, wives are to submit to their husbands and of course the husbands should respect her opinions. For the sake of the family and the relationship, to the respect add love. It is always Love that bonds and strengthen a relationship. Remember the reason a couple decided to get married.
First of all, misunderstanding persists between married couple when one or both mates feels that they had choose the wrong person and begin to regret which trigger to unhealthy body and mind condition. Misunderstanding is often related to low self-esteem. One of the spouses might fear that the other half is being disloyal, deceptive or misleading and often get jealous, malice or hatred for each other or a third person are examples of low self-esteem. The imbalance emotions sometimes mess up the relationship.
In addition, when there’s respect in a marriage, the integrity of marriage as an institution remains intact and there probably wouldn’t be any divorce. Husband and wife must understand that marriage is a commitment to life. There should not be domination in a marriage but honour the person with sincerity. Some husbands or wives often have this ‘I’m always right’ mindset. This has made the situation worse and one of them might get tired of it and that usually ends on a very unsatisfying note.
Furthermore, husband and wife should always show interest to each other and accept the weakness because everybody makes mistakes. Do not neglect each other no matter how busy they are and at least once a day to compliment each other. Communication skill is crucial to make up a healthy relationship. Spend time and be open for discussion with one another so that all issues and disputes can be settled and resolved through a dialogue, not by personal opinion.
In a nutshell, the roles of the husband and wife in a family have been forgotten. Wife is like a neck when the husband’s a head. They must be together in order to function well. As we know that husband is to assume leadership in the home but should not be dictatorial, condescending the wife means they must respect each other. On the other hand, wives are to submit to their husbands and of course the husbands should respect her opinions. For the sake of the family and the relationship, to the respect add love. It is always Love that bonds and strengthen a relationship. Remember the reason a couple decided to get married.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
cOncept of Family...
"WARM" a word which can describe a family. In this modern day and age,the word "family" is a very powerful thing. Families use to be networks of togetherness and love. A family including a father,mother and a child. If not,cant form a family.Love,support,friendship, and guidance are key qualities necessary to form a family bond. The feeling of warm and love can be feel in a family.Father n mother will give their love to the children,teach them as well by full of patient,protect them and the like.In addition,family members can be our "Friends" too...We can share our happiness and sadness with them,talk to them when we face difficulties so that they can express their opinion or views,travelling and so on..They are very important in our life..They always beside us no matter where we are..Everyone has the need to feel loved,but the best love there can be is the love of a family.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Let's get STARTED on topic!
Speak of family, the first thing that appears in my head is LOVE. As we know that love binds a family and bound them together. The family is where children and vulnerable family members should be able to find support and safety. However , what will become to a family if there’s no love and appreciation? This is the main reason we choose FAMILY issue as our topic.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
FAMILY
I would like to talk a little about "FAMILY" here! ^^
What is the meaning of the word “FAMILY”? Well, families are much more than groups of people who share the same genes or the same address. There are many different kinds of families. Some have two parents, while others have a single parent. Some children live in adoptive families, foster famillies, or in stepfamilies.
Some will define family as “Father And Mother I Love You”. Perhaps, family should be a source of support and encouragement. But, there is no perfect family. Each family has its own strengths and weaknesses,challenges and problems. We can said that conflicts are a part of family life.
However, the conflicts among family should be settle or resolve. In case of the conflicts keep on exist, it may be deeply affect the children. Since family should be a source of support and encouragement, so I strongly emphasize that, listening to each other and working to resolve conflicts are important in strengthening the family.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I Would Like To Reassure The Topic By Onion
Ok, the topic for this blog discussion board is How Family As a Foundation Affects The Harmonious Of The Society. I guess this is the topic that we are going to discuss on. Settle? And by the way, try to post some discussions on this blog at least once a week respectively. Use 5-Wife 1-Husband principle (What, Where, Who, When, Why and How) to question the issue so that you will get a clearer idea of presenting the topic. I believe in you, dear teammates! (AND I LOVE YOU) (wink)
Friday, July 30, 2010
What Is My Words When I Talk About Family Issues
In this blog, I would like to talk about how crucial harmony within family members is when it comes to the uprising of divorce rate.
Basically family is considered as a foundation of the society where it's consisted of a father, a mother and their children. The formation of a family generally relies on encounter of 2 different individual from different family background. After some time of experiencing life together and achieve a certain degree of mutual understanding, they will either realise they are not suitable to live under same roof or continue the life journey till the end. Decision making plays an important role at this stage.
If you flip open the newspaper nowadays, it's not surprising to have notices on who-and-who no longer tied together by marriage and breath taking amount of divorce compensation claimed. The idea of marriage is crooked as there are cases where girls look for rich husband to marry with or males search for beautiful females to gain satisfaction as if owning something delicate to be display in public. We need to ask ourselves what is our original intention to get married, to seek security? To produce offsprings? To gain a higher social position? To climb into a new stage of life? The intention itself is no longer pure but instead, built on desires and or at least, urge to obtain a certain requirement.
Compared to the past, young people incline towards Western style of celebrating marriage where procedures are simple and stylistic. I am not accusing others for practicing Western marriage celebration but then our own traditional marriage procedures have their hidden meaning. Talking from the perspective of a Chinese, I would like to explain a little on the tediousness of rules and procedures in a Traditional Chinese Marriage. In the Traditional Chinese Marriage rituals, we have "6 Etiquette". To bring out the points briefly, we need to undergo a proposal, a birthdate ceremony(to predict whether they are suitable to live together or not), a bethrothal gift(as a token of appreciation to the bride's parents for raising their daughter) , a wedding gift(preparation for the wedding ceremony),and arranging of the wedding date. In the wedding ceremony, the couples will need to serve teas to their ancestors down to their elderlies by kneeling down to show their gratitude. To conclude it, it 's the troublesome of marriage that keep on reminding the couple: marriage is tedious and hence, do not repeat it. One marriage ceremony in the life will be enough.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
jOyanna is HERE~
Hello~Souls out there...it's a pleasure having you here with me!^^
I'm the one and only Joyanna Choong Sing Li ever existed in this world...
Born in 1990 6th of May in Kedah but now a Penangite i am,studying Communication and Public Policy in UKM
I like books,music,movies,etc.Every Sunday i'll be serving in my Church and i really hope to
enlarge my social circle~
That's why I am a GossipSocial-er,right?
Feel free to be my friend, I do appreciate it~
May GOD bless you~XOXO~
You Can Call Me 如秀
Hi, everyone! Ning here. Ning Baizura??! Definitely no.^^ Let me introduce myself. My name is NING LU SIEW. Of course i am a girl. My hometown is at sibu, Sarawak since i am now study at UKM. I am first year student who study linguistics course. My interest is sleeping, sleeping and keep sleeping! Ahaha... I don’t like outdoor games, it always made me feel tired. But, i will have my Christian worshiping on every Thurday and Sunday. Only then, i feel like want to go out. Otherwise, i prefer to stay in my room and listen to music as well as online. That is all from me. Please come and be my friend here!!!~
Xue Nie is MY name...
"Cute"....a word which can describe me...haha.. =) My name is Wong Xue Nie, came from Negeri Sembilan,Seremban..I'm now studying at UKM,taking Communication and Public Policy course..Actually I'm a outgoing person,love to join many activities,to know more people,love to follow my aunts go anywhere,active in organizing activity,and the like...In short,others must include me in every activity....So,ADD me la....hehe...
My Identity as Hun Yen
Notice to all readers: My name is Yow Hun Yen, as far as I was informed. Produced in Petaling Jaya, Selangor Darul Ehsan, I was moving in phase as a mechanical line of the society. That's typically boring, as we need to wake up at the designated point of the day, eat our breakfast at another point of the day, fill up our stomach few times a day and vise-versa, bath and get dirty later, and finally, shut our eyes tight and collapse. Enough for the bla bla bla. Currently pursuing Literatue in English, I am rolling my eyes and after the tides to sway me along. Ok fine, this is my introduction and I'm going to post my comments in future. (wave hand)
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