Conflicts are a part of family life. Many issues can lead to conflict, such as marital problems, addition, generation gap, disability and so on. If the parents do not manage these conflicts properly, it will cause bad effects on the children. This is because the children are living in a unhealthy family and it may lead to the social problems indirectly. As we know, parents are busy for their business and will be 'pass' their children to the grandparents to take care since the children are baby,kindegarden and adolescence. So,they are lack of communication between their own parents, even grandparents. Besides this, sometimes grandparents are unable to teach their grandchildren when ask them a questions which about their study. In long run, they do not have good opportunities to find a job due to shortage of education since their parents are do not spend much of time to teach them.
Secondly, On the other hand, children like to try something new to get the attention from others because they are less communication with others. They are pretend themselves and not dare to talk with others, scare get hurt and no one is bother them when they talk. So, they are willing to do something 'special' to get the attention from others. They will be get into drug addition, become a gangster, smoking,go to the pub, etc. They won't think about the effect which will happen on them when they are involve in these 'activities'. They never know that their parents are worry about them and they are enjoyed of it. Furthermore, once they have the negative thinking, they will be try something more extreme, such as stealing, 'mat rempit', committed to buy drugs with their friends those who have the negative thinking.
Once they are involved, they can not detached easily. This is why nowadays the rates of juvenile crimes become increased in this society. Actually parents are play an important role of it. According to the newspaper wrote that,“A child is less likely to commit crime if there is someone, usually a parent, who makes a difference in his life.' Children are potential leaders in our future. Government hopes the young generation to innovate and advance the country in future. But, due to the social problems, its seems like hard to achieve it.
Friday, October 8, 2010
NeWs For The Solution of Pregnant Teenagers
CM: School for pregnant teenagers will proceed
MALACCA: Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam yesterday defended his suggestion for pregnant teens be placed in a special school.
Replying to a question raised in the state assembly sitting, he said the state government was serious about helping pregnant youngsters.
The state government was determined to set up such school, he said adding that Pantai Kundor assemblyman Datuk Ab Rahaman Ab Karim had been appointed chairman of the school with immediate effect.
Ali, however, did not elaborate on the school, saying that details were being worked out.
He said the school would be set up as soon as possible despite criticisms.
"I am not suggesting it merely for fun but it is based on the views of many quarters obtained during a recent seminar on social problems held here."
Believing that there were no outright solutions to the problems, Ali said the move could assist the teenagers in one way or another.
"The school will take care of the needs of pregnant teens and this, indirectly, will rid of negative perception against them," he said to a question by Chua Kheng Hwa (BN-Bemban).
Ali added that there was no harm in having such a school.
"It is done with good intention and I believe this is encouraged not only by Islam but also other religions to address social problems involving our youngsters."
The Malacca Religious Council (MAIM) had also given its thumbs-up for the establishment of the school.
"This was agreed upon during a meeting between MAIM leaders and representatives of several political bodies and non-governmental organisations in the state."
Statistics showed that rape cases in the state stood at 112 last year and 40 cases were reported in the first six months of this year.
On baby dumping cases, Ali said only one case was reported last year while three had been reported so far this year.
"This is very worrying. They are scared to tell their parents for fear of being scolded and ostracised. In the end, they give births in secluded spots and dispose of their newborns. We must put a stop to it and this is the very reason why we want to have the school."
The proposal, however, did not go down well with the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
In a statement, the ministry said the move was not the best solution to address the issue of baby dumping.
Instead, a more practical solution would be to allow pregnant teenagers to defer their schooling and make arrangements for them to be placed at a new school after maternity leave.
It also said segregation of teenagers from mainstream education would result in social stigma towards them.
"Moreover, the school will always be labelled by society as an institution for teenagers who are pregnant out of wedlock," the statement said.
Although the proposal was seen as a preventive measure to the problem of abandoned babies, it should be studied comprehensively to avoid other implications which may affect the children, families and the society.
It added that the proposal to encourage children and teenagers to marry with the support of the state government would be seen as condoning child marriages.
"The ministry is firm on its stand that child marriages should not be encouraged as they are detrimental to the development and well-being of the child."
It added placing a heavy burden of parenthood on children would also affect the child's psychological, emotional and physical development.
MALACCA: Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam yesterday defended his suggestion for pregnant teens be placed in a special school.
Replying to a question raised in the state assembly sitting, he said the state government was serious about helping pregnant youngsters.
The state government was determined to set up such school, he said adding that Pantai Kundor assemblyman Datuk Ab Rahaman Ab Karim had been appointed chairman of the school with immediate effect.
Ali, however, did not elaborate on the school, saying that details were being worked out.
He said the school would be set up as soon as possible despite criticisms.
"I am not suggesting it merely for fun but it is based on the views of many quarters obtained during a recent seminar on social problems held here."
Believing that there were no outright solutions to the problems, Ali said the move could assist the teenagers in one way or another.
"The school will take care of the needs of pregnant teens and this, indirectly, will rid of negative perception against them," he said to a question by Chua Kheng Hwa (BN-Bemban).
Ali added that there was no harm in having such a school.
"It is done with good intention and I believe this is encouraged not only by Islam but also other religions to address social problems involving our youngsters."
The Malacca Religious Council (MAIM) had also given its thumbs-up for the establishment of the school.
"This was agreed upon during a meeting between MAIM leaders and representatives of several political bodies and non-governmental organisations in the state."
Statistics showed that rape cases in the state stood at 112 last year and 40 cases were reported in the first six months of this year.
On baby dumping cases, Ali said only one case was reported last year while three had been reported so far this year.
"This is very worrying. They are scared to tell their parents for fear of being scolded and ostracised. In the end, they give births in secluded spots and dispose of their newborns. We must put a stop to it and this is the very reason why we want to have the school."
The proposal, however, did not go down well with the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
In a statement, the ministry said the move was not the best solution to address the issue of baby dumping.
Instead, a more practical solution would be to allow pregnant teenagers to defer their schooling and make arrangements for them to be placed at a new school after maternity leave.
It also said segregation of teenagers from mainstream education would result in social stigma towards them.
"Moreover, the school will always be labelled by society as an institution for teenagers who are pregnant out of wedlock," the statement said.
Although the proposal was seen as a preventive measure to the problem of abandoned babies, it should be studied comprehensively to avoid other implications which may affect the children, families and the society.
It added that the proposal to encourage children and teenagers to marry with the support of the state government would be seen as condoning child marriages.
"The ministry is firm on its stand that child marriages should not be encouraged as they are detrimental to the development and well-being of the child."
It added placing a heavy burden of parenthood on children would also affect the child's psychological, emotional and physical development.
PHYSICAL EFFECTS
Family conflictS will lead to a profound effectS on teenagers. Children usually are the one who greatly affected from the family issues. I would like to diScuss about physical effects on teenagers or children due to the family problems.
First of all, teenagers if often expose to the family conflicts may experience health problems. Because of the conflict happened, children do not sleep well or we consider it as insomnia. Some teens may develop eating disorders and fall into depression as a consequence. This situation will totally affect their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, teenagers will lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Besides that, there is strong evidence that teenagers growing up in conflicted family often suffer from long-term health problems including anxiety disorder, heart disease, cancer and even early death.
In addition, the conflict of family will affect children educational performance. Children who family is in conflict often do poorly in school. Family problems can influence a teenager’s school attendance and tardiness. Besides that,children also have difficult time concentrating in school because the problem of family always bothering them. Therefore, teens from problem family are more likely to drop out of school and fail to gradute. Conflicts between family members can cause teenagers to act among their peers. Teens from conflict family are more likely to have behavioral problems in school than the teens from households with less conflict.
By the way, children from problem families are much likely to develop habits of smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption. Besides that , they tend to become more sexually active. Research prove that, teens from dysfunctional family are much more likely to get pregnant. May be we can said that children involve in such risky behavior because they are too emotional, depress or even they want to arouse the attention of parents. The most serious risky behavior due to the conflicst between family members is teenagers commit suicide and self mutilation to escape from the problems that they faced in family. What a pity!
In conclusion, we should not underestimate the conflicts in family. It will strongly affect teenagers life!
First of all, teenagers if often expose to the family conflicts may experience health problems. Because of the conflict happened, children do not sleep well or we consider it as insomnia. Some teens may develop eating disorders and fall into depression as a consequence. This situation will totally affect their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, teenagers will lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Besides that, there is strong evidence that teenagers growing up in conflicted family often suffer from long-term health problems including anxiety disorder, heart disease, cancer and even early death.
In addition, the conflict of family will affect children educational performance. Children who family is in conflict often do poorly in school. Family problems can influence a teenager’s school attendance and tardiness. Besides that,children also have difficult time concentrating in school because the problem of family always bothering them. Therefore, teens from problem family are more likely to drop out of school and fail to gradute. Conflicts between family members can cause teenagers to act among their peers. Teens from conflict family are more likely to have behavioral problems in school than the teens from households with less conflict.
By the way, children from problem families are much likely to develop habits of smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption. Besides that , they tend to become more sexually active. Research prove that, teens from dysfunctional family are much more likely to get pregnant. May be we can said that children involve in such risky behavior because they are too emotional, depress or even they want to arouse the attention of parents. The most serious risky behavior due to the conflicst between family members is teenagers commit suicide and self mutilation to escape from the problems that they faced in family. What a pity!
In conclusion, we should not underestimate the conflicts in family. It will strongly affect teenagers life!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
-Mental Effects-
Effects on bad relationships between husband and wife or parents with children will first lead to mental illness. People who suffer from mental illness find it hard to get close to others and often have difficulty trusting them. Besides, becoming repeatedly involved in unhealthy relationships can cause chemical changes in mind and body, regardless adult or children, which drains one’s energy and finally leading to more physical and mental problems.
When a person suffers from bad relationship with family, the telltale signs are increasing frustration, growing feelings of emptiness, getting too emotional, and feeling suicidal. Women going through relationship problems are more prone to express their emotions by showing sadness, depression, or crying all the time. On the other hand, men usually show emotional pain in different ways, either they buried it deep down inside their hearts or they show it by emotionally or physically abuse to others. Children who are facing relationship problems with their family usually are quieter and do not like to get socialize. Sometimes they tend to show their feelings by torturing others or even themselves.
In addition, bad relationship often turns a person unwittingly caught in low self-esteem, continuously blaming themselves or others. They will starting to have inability to concentrate, difficulty with making decisions, unnecessary worry and anxiety, compelling emotions and mood swings, loss of self-confidence, etc. In short, they just wallowing in sadness and do not have rational way of thinking. These effects will then lead to physical problems.
When a person suffers from bad relationship with family, the telltale signs are increasing frustration, growing feelings of emptiness, getting too emotional, and feeling suicidal. Women going through relationship problems are more prone to express their emotions by showing sadness, depression, or crying all the time. On the other hand, men usually show emotional pain in different ways, either they buried it deep down inside their hearts or they show it by emotionally or physically abuse to others. Children who are facing relationship problems with their family usually are quieter and do not like to get socialize. Sometimes they tend to show their feelings by torturing others or even themselves.
In addition, bad relationship often turns a person unwittingly caught in low self-esteem, continuously blaming themselves or others. They will starting to have inability to concentrate, difficulty with making decisions, unnecessary worry and anxiety, compelling emotions and mood swings, loss of self-confidence, etc. In short, they just wallowing in sadness and do not have rational way of thinking. These effects will then lead to physical problems.
Bad husband and wife relationship News-Habitual wife beater kills wife
ONE INUSAH Yakubu, a resident of Tensungo, a suburb of Bawku in the Upper East Region, has allegedly beaten his 30-year-old wife, Hamida Abdullai to death.
According to a source close to the family, a quarrel ensued between the couple last Thursday, which resulted in the husband beating the wife into unconsciousness, as a result of which she was rushed to the Bawku Hospital, where she died.
The father of the deceased, Mr. Abdullai Khasim, told our source that INUSAH Yakubu, who has since gone into hiding, has persistently been beating his wife, compelling her to sometimes run away to her family house.
According to some residents of Tensungo, during the latest incident, they heard the cry of the woman but felt reluctant to go to her rescue, because they were fed up with the continuous beating of the wife by the man.
They said anytime they rescued the woman and advised the man to stop his barbaric act, he would not listen to them.
The neighbours only went to the scene when the wailing and screaming of the woman increased and heightened, but their presence was rather too late.
According to some residents, the cause of the scuffle was the man’s alleged accusation that the wife had stolen his money.
The body of the deceased has since been deposited at the morgue of the Regional Hospital in Bolgatanga. The couple has been married for eleven years and has 4 children.
The police in Bawku have confirmed the murder and said they suspect foul play.
According to a source close to the family, a quarrel ensued between the couple last Thursday, which resulted in the husband beating the wife into unconsciousness, as a result of which she was rushed to the Bawku Hospital, where she died.
The father of the deceased, Mr. Abdullai Khasim, told our source that INUSAH Yakubu, who has since gone into hiding, has persistently been beating his wife, compelling her to sometimes run away to her family house.
According to some residents of Tensungo, during the latest incident, they heard the cry of the woman but felt reluctant to go to her rescue, because they were fed up with the continuous beating of the wife by the man.
They said anytime they rescued the woman and advised the man to stop his barbaric act, he would not listen to them.
The neighbours only went to the scene when the wailing and screaming of the woman increased and heightened, but their presence was rather too late.
According to some residents, the cause of the scuffle was the man’s alleged accusation that the wife had stolen his money.
The body of the deceased has since been deposited at the morgue of the Regional Hospital in Bolgatanga. The couple has been married for eleven years and has 4 children.
The police in Bawku have confirmed the murder and said they suspect foul play.
NEWS about family problem
Family argument turns deadly in Union City; man killed, stepson arrested
Posted: 09/15/2010 06:47:07 AM PDT
Updated: 09/15/2010 07:23:18 PM PDT
UNION CITY -- A family quarrel turned deadly when a 55-year-old man shot and killed his 57-year-old stepfather in the driveway of their home, police and relatives said.
Humberto Diaz, a well-liked construction worker, was slain about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday after he returned to his home in the 600 block of Whipple Road, said his stepdaughter Elizabeth Colon.
Diaz was shot twice with a small-caliber gun and died at Eden Medical Center in Castro Valley where he was being treated for his wounds, said Lt. Kelly Musgrove, a spokesman for the police department.
Stepson Luis Rick Sanchez was arrested at the scene. He confessed to police who recorded his statement using their video cameras, Musgrove said.
Family members said the motive for the killing was sparked days earlier when Diaz demanded that Sanchez move out of his home because of a sexual relationship Sanchez was having with a relative, said Colon, who is the 52-year-old sister of the suspect.
"Everyone knew about it, but nobody talked about it because in Hispanic families; that is like airing your dirty laundry," she said Wednesday.
Diaz and Sanchez were both living in the home, along with other relatives, including two children who were home at the time of the shooting, but didn't witness it.
Diaz had been married to Sanchez's mother, Bonita, for more than 30 years and is credited with being a stabilizing figure in her family, Colon said.
"He was a good man, a great person" she said, fighting off tears. "He was good to our mother, everybody liked him."
The argument that led to the shooting apparently started Sunday when Diaz gave Sanchez an ultimatum to move out or he would tell people about family problems, Colon said.
It escalated on Tuesday when Diaz returned home from work, she said.
The disagreement became heated and then moved to the driveway where Sanchez shot Diaz twice in the torso, police said.
When officers arrived, they found the victim struggling to breathe, and the suspect standing nearby.
Police said Sanchez complied with all of the officers' orders and was arrested without incident.
Colon said Sanchez is one of five siblings, all of whom were raised in Union City's Decoto neighborhood. Colon's mother married Diaz a few years after their father died.
"I know it's weird to think that I am taking the side of a person who is not (a blood relative), but a person like (Sanchez) is someone I don't even want to be related to," she said.
Posted: 09/15/2010 06:47:07 AM PDT
Updated: 09/15/2010 07:23:18 PM PDT
UNION CITY -- A family quarrel turned deadly when a 55-year-old man shot and killed his 57-year-old stepfather in the driveway of their home, police and relatives said.
Humberto Diaz, a well-liked construction worker, was slain about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday after he returned to his home in the 600 block of Whipple Road, said his stepdaughter Elizabeth Colon.
Diaz was shot twice with a small-caliber gun and died at Eden Medical Center in Castro Valley where he was being treated for his wounds, said Lt. Kelly Musgrove, a spokesman for the police department.
Stepson Luis Rick Sanchez was arrested at the scene. He confessed to police who recorded his statement using their video cameras, Musgrove said.
Family members said the motive for the killing was sparked days earlier when Diaz demanded that Sanchez move out of his home because of a sexual relationship Sanchez was having with a relative, said Colon, who is the 52-year-old sister of the suspect.
"Everyone knew about it, but nobody talked about it because in Hispanic families; that is like airing your dirty laundry," she said Wednesday.
Diaz and Sanchez were both living in the home, along with other relatives, including two children who were home at the time of the shooting, but didn't witness it.
Diaz had been married to Sanchez's mother, Bonita, for more than 30 years and is credited with being a stabilizing figure in her family, Colon said.
"He was a good man, a great person" she said, fighting off tears. "He was good to our mother, everybody liked him."
The argument that led to the shooting apparently started Sunday when Diaz gave Sanchez an ultimatum to move out or he would tell people about family problems, Colon said.
It escalated on Tuesday when Diaz returned home from work, she said.
The disagreement became heated and then moved to the driveway where Sanchez shot Diaz twice in the torso, police said.
When officers arrived, they found the victim struggling to breathe, and the suspect standing nearby.
Police said Sanchez complied with all of the officers' orders and was arrested without incident.
Colon said Sanchez is one of five siblings, all of whom were raised in Union City's Decoto neighborhood. Colon's mother married Diaz a few years after their father died.
"I know it's weird to think that I am taking the side of a person who is not (a blood relative), but a person like (Sanchez) is someone I don't even want to be related to," she said.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Solution For Marriage Problem Between Husband And Wife By Onion
Usually that's what happen between a husband and wife in the family, During the time of crisis, their trust will be tested as well as their endurance and mutual understanding on each other. In order to solve the problem between couples, we must first find the cause of the problem. What is the source of failing relationships then? If we investigate closer at it's core, it's the mindset of the couples.
1. They should set a common goal to be achieve together, such as bringing up children, holiday to certain countries, renovate their house and so on. In order to do so, partners need to develop the capability to make connections between facts by listening to your partner's opinion without presumption and understand his/her viewpoints from their stances.
2. Speaks out your feelings freely to your partner. What we are facing in Malaysia as well as South East Asia countries is that couples tend to keep opinions or feelings in their heart. They are more conservative and tried to solve problems by themselves. These may causes misunderstanding of your partner since he/she doesn't understanding what situation you are in and may accused you of false rumors. When comes to making a major decision,the dominant side(either husband or wife) may presume their decision are acceptable by their partner, which in fact the opposite in most of the cases. Hence, do respect your partner's feelings and makes adjustments according to your partner's need as well as the situation, and of course, includes both sides decisions in the commitment of family issues. Avoid unreasonable expectations and think of the bigger picture and the consequences when you make the decision.
1. They should set a common goal to be achieve together, such as bringing up children, holiday to certain countries, renovate their house and so on. In order to do so, partners need to develop the capability to make connections between facts by listening to your partner's opinion without presumption and understand his/her viewpoints from their stances.
2. Speaks out your feelings freely to your partner. What we are facing in Malaysia as well as South East Asia countries is that couples tend to keep opinions or feelings in their heart. They are more conservative and tried to solve problems by themselves. These may causes misunderstanding of your partner since he/she doesn't understanding what situation you are in and may accused you of false rumors. When comes to making a major decision,the dominant side(either husband or wife) may presume their decision are acceptable by their partner, which in fact the opposite in most of the cases. Hence, do respect your partner's feelings and makes adjustments according to your partner's need as well as the situation, and of course, includes both sides decisions in the commitment of family issues. Avoid unreasonable expectations and think of the bigger picture and the consequences when you make the decision.
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